As a trauma survivor, I feel as though we’re often told to find life’s gray areas. In reality, though, trauma survivors forget there’s still distinct good and bad in life. Completing therapy and feeling a sense of healing/relief, even. But getting knock down because of the world’s daily events.
Until recently, I hadn’t found an accurate portrayal of this chaotic world, in simple yet concise terms. Yet, Kimmy from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt would change that after I binge-watched 3 seasons. Completely surprising me with her ability to do so with a basic sentence in one scene.
“The world is a Vidalia Onion. It’s a lie, it stinks, and makes you cry. Sooner or later, you have to stop biting onions.” – Kimmy Schmidt
After hearing the quote, I originally thought it was dumb and weird. Not going to lie! Once I thought about the quote for a few days, I realized how truthful Kimmy was. Also, grasping that the quote hit too close to home, and so I didn’t want to accept it. But after years of therapy and looking at myself in-depth, it’s hard to not be so self-aware.
For Kimmy to say it’s a terrible hot mess of a place BUT (big but) if you can recognize the evil parts, you can stop biting into it. And by not biting into it, you’re not allowing negativity to suck your energy. Instead going out into the messy world appreciating the amazing moments that exist!
Life Is Not Black and White
Anyone with borderline personality disorder knows a common symptom is black-and-white thinking. Meaning, one sees the world/life in either a good or bad light. With there being no gray area or middle, despite lots of gray area in real life.
Personally, I thought I had overcome this symptom. But after watching the season 3 finale, realized that was far from the truth. Yes, I can see the gray areas of the world. Yet I’m still frustrated about the amount of bad/evil engrained too.
I Couldn’t Stop Biting 2020s Onion
The social unrest in America during the summer of 2020 became my onion. 24/7 I felt ambushed whenever I looked at any type of media. But despite feeling as if I had no control, one day by surprise I had a lightbulb moment. Understanding that I was overlooking a bit of control. That tiny amount of control being my ability to stop biting into that traumatic onion.
This prompted me to curate my intake of media from every angle so I could protect every aspect of my health. It required an immense amount of self-restraint and rewiring my brain. Making sure I don’t bite into that onion again.
I will say, it was well worth it though now that I’m on the other side!
Why Keep Biting Into Life’s Onions?
The world is a disgusting, scary place. And one person, or entire community, cannot solve the world’s issues with the snap of a finger. Evil’s embedded into life’s onion, whether we like it or not. Examples including racism, capitalism, and more.
It’s draining, lies, makes you cry and feels like insanity.
Take Control!
You still have control over whether you’re going to bite into that onion. So, today challenge yourself to explore and find one layer of life’s onion you keep biting into. Start consciously not biting life’s onion. Reclaim control of whatever energy life’s onion is sucking from you!